-
2023’s a write-off
What are all these daily posts I keep putting up and why am I sharing such odd stuff? Well, let’s just say, 2023 is a write-off and I’m challenging myself to spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day on this blog. Read all about what kind of stuff I’ll write about and why you… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Monsieur Breast (redux)
A middle-aged man walks into a sports store. He’s dressed kind of slovenly – untucked shirt, thongs. He starts looking around at the various items displayed on the walls and racks, looking a little lost. A fit, toned, shop assistant in shorts, t-shirt and sparkly white joggers approaches him. ASSISTANT: Good afternoon sir, anything I can… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Closing time
We’re on the set of a television talk show where two armchairs face a studio audience, slightly angled to each other. In one armchair is an elderly female host and facing her is writer Mason Hell-Cat.As we join them, studio applause fades down. HOST: (to camera) My next guest needs no introduction he…. (looks down)… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: The sausage fizzle
We’re at a popular campground beach in the middle of summer – there are beach goers and campers every where. Kelvin (mid-40s) and his young daughter walk along the sand, headed home. They both have towels around their necks and look as though they’ve just come out of the water. KELVIN: Well that was a… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Scooter scarcity
We start with an aerial view of a mobility scooter graveyard. Thousands of mobility scooters are lined up, rotting away, their paint pealing. All in various states of disrepair and ruin. V/O: It’s the year 2067 and thanks to a worldwide shortage of the foam that goes inside the seats on mobility scooters, that form… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Death cap diversification
A dad and two kids – sit at a dinner table holding their knife and fork vertical, waiting for their dinner to be served. Mum, a lady in her mid-late 40s walks over and places beef wellington dishes in front of each of them. Mushrooms are clearly visible on top of the meals. The family… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: The checkout chick (redux)
A couple are walking through a large supermarket pushing a trolley full of grocery items. The husband stops and points at a self check-out zone. HUSBAND: (startled) Look at that! WIFE: What..? HUSBAND: (amazed) A conveyor belt self-service… WIFE: What? As opposed to what…? HUSBAND: I’ve only ever seen the twelve items or less type self-service scanners.… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: No external pooing
We’re at a press conference where a large scrum of reporters and camera operators are gathered, all waiting for someone to address them. The backdrop of the press conference reads ‘Stockton City Council’. The Stockton Mayor, a large, balding man in his mid-50s, dressed in a business suit, with many mayoral medallions around his neck… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Underneath his beard so snowy white
It’s Christmas morning in the backyard of a typical Aussie suburban backyard. A bunch of kids, all around eleven or twelve years old are gathered in a tight circle while one of them, Jessica, regales the others with a story that is sending them into fits of laughter. JESSICA: …mum thought I was tucked up… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Twas the night before Christmas
A man (mid-late 40s) is sitting with a police officer inside a police station. The police officer is behind a crowded busy desk, stacked high with papers – he’s glancing at a computer screen, typing and listening to the man. MAN: (hysterical) Look, I’m telling you officer, this man broke into my house… this, this…… Continue reading
-
SKETCH: Silent night
We’re inside the nativity scene of Bethlehem on the very first Christmas. Baby Jesus lies asleep in his little manger, Mary and Joseph stand over him looking down lovingly. Several livestock stand around, oblivious. It’s all warmly lit from below.It’s very peaceful and calm. The three wise men step into the stable and bow down… Continue reading
About Me
Mason Hell-Cat is a comedy writer and performer who has worked on a number of mildly successful productions including Channel 31’s ‘Mecrame Made Simple for Blokes with Stubby Fingers’.
Recent Posts
SUBSCRIBE why don’t you?
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | ||
| 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |
| 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 |
| 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 |
| 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | ||
from the desk of Mason Hell-Cat 